Starting afresh after a major financial setback

Life is funny, in a very artful way of getting you all wrapped up in the distractions and excitements that you encounter growing up. So much so that time itself flies by without warning, and we suddenly find ourselves engulfed in the feverish quest for success and fulfillment.

Many find this unsettling, especially when caught up in this uncomfortable position in life. Then the pretty familiar crisis sets in, and the unfortunate lot is left depressed and hopelessly seeking new strokes to climbs back up for air. 

This is not an easy phase in life to experience. For the fortunate few like me, it is best to start strong and strive to build a solid future for ourselves and family. Last night, on "Sharing Life Issues", it was very heart warming to get calls supporting the truth about male and female disparities in responsibility - taking and problem - solving concerns.

A good reference is Mr Ayo, 57, who graciously called in to express a rare form of appreciation and gratitude to his wife. An amazing woman who owned a business that funded much of their family's needs - school fees, rent, and all. Ayo did not have a job or own a business at one point, and felt his ego was being trampled upon, as he was not allowed to run his wife's business. Not until he fell seriously ill, with his wife ever by his side, did he realize there was more to life and becoming successful than the need to feed ones ego. Ayo recovered and immediately sought out a day job which at first did not pay much, but gave him enough to weigh in on family expenses. Now he has learned the hard way, how lucky he is to have a wife who does not fall into the stereotype of women who, regardless of their large earnings, still put immense pressure on their husbands to provide for EVERY need. Now Ayo has saved up enough to start up a business of his own, in addition to managing one of the prominent petrol stations in Lagos. 

If you are suffering from a serious financial setback, Don't worry there's help;

• Accept your situation. Dwelling on the past is never a good route to take, and that will be a waste of time. The best defense is always a good offensive strategy.
• Learn to take stock of where you are now, so you can form a plan to get to where you want to be.
• Define your objective and determine where you want to go financially. Use the S.M.A.R.T system; 

1. Specific: Being specific about your plan makes it clearer and more realistic. "I want to make NGN 100,000 in 10 months, after paying NGN 20,000 in fees" is more like it.
2. Measurable: In the above example, the NGN 100,000 is the residual income after fees.
3. Attainable: There's a fine balance between setting a goal that stretches your abilities and yet remaining within reach. If you set an easy goal, you're not challenging yourself. If you set a goal beyond you, you're setting yourself up for failure.
4. Realistic (refer to 1.)
5. Timely: Set a deadline to achieving your set objectives.

• If do not take action, nothing will change about your current situation.
• Through the process, you will reach a stage where you will have to stop, correct and adjust. It is not wise to perfect your plan from the very beginning, because your first plan will seldom be your best.

Remember to say a little prayer whenever you feel frustrated at any point. Most highly successful people today have stories of woe, but what remains in our faces will often be the glitz and glamor that is the result of their resilience. 

How did you get yourself out of a financially challenging situation?