Yours, mine, ours... Can you trust your spouse with money?
"My ex and I started off our relationship living in the euphoria and warm fuzziness of love, and sharing the mantra which was, what's mine is yours. Every burden was almost equally shared, until the love could not bare the weight of the backlog of loans and mismanaged funds, and drama that came with all that crack" - Yinka, 32
Whether you are splitting or sharing finances, communication is key to solving financial conundrums.
Issues only arise when financial transparency is lacking or one half seems to bare more of the burden than the other.
Lagos couple Kennedy Mosheri, 37 and Efe Okorie, 32 have been married for 5 years and each have separate checking and savings accounts, so one would not expect any issues with funds right? Wrong!
Trust our culture and its embolism on common sense that deludes the mentality of partners who feel entitled to everything owned by the other. Kennedy got the idea that he could dip into Efe's funds and went ahead to forge her signatures on cheques and issued them in his name. This was a usual practice they had become accustomed to, since Efe personally requested he signed her signature on previous payments (which was a peculiar skill he had). Of course, this backfired as a result of Kennedy's greed and indiscretion in this case, which occurred when she was away on an overseas course. She was livid, and swore this was the last straw, since she was now fed up with Kennedy's spending habits. Upon return, she frantically searched for her cheque book and accidentally found the stubs of issued cheques her husband Kennedy had boldly forged her signatures on.
She specifically asked for this to be shared on the radio show last night, as she's considering divorce.
Her first mistake was enabling Ken to sign her cheques, fully aware of his weakness with money. But Ken on his part failed terribly by assuming he had the right to her funds by going to such extremes.
It is understood that Efe feels completely betrayed by Ken and it would be very difficult to regain her trust after this. Hell, he could have been jailed for this, but for the safety of marriage! She mentioned, in our conversation, that she had not spoken to Ken about her discovery yet, as she is trying to avoid a fight or any form of confrontation. Which is understood, as fights about money are the most precarious, because they are the common indicators of divorce.
I often counsel couples to have open, honest conversations about how the household is to be run.
In Efe and Ken's case, I would rather they establish a joint account for spending which will encourage a mutual agreement before any withdrawal is made. And a definite adjustment made on her mandate to stall further withdrawals, should Ken be tempted to be 'sharp' in the near future.
Ken should be made to pay back what he took from her, which is only fair, if he is to save his marriage.
Learn to understand your partner's faults and weaknesses before going into any serious relationship or marriage. So you are better equipped with ways to support each other's needs and live amicably together in marriage.
Have you been financially cheated by a partner? Would you like to share?
Whether you are splitting or sharing finances, communication is key to solving financial conundrums.
Issues only arise when financial transparency is lacking or one half seems to bare more of the burden than the other.
Lagos couple Kennedy Mosheri, 37 and Efe Okorie, 32 have been married for 5 years and each have separate checking and savings accounts, so one would not expect any issues with funds right? Wrong!
Trust our culture and its embolism on common sense that deludes the mentality of partners who feel entitled to everything owned by the other. Kennedy got the idea that he could dip into Efe's funds and went ahead to forge her signatures on cheques and issued them in his name. This was a usual practice they had become accustomed to, since Efe personally requested he signed her signature on previous payments (which was a peculiar skill he had). Of course, this backfired as a result of Kennedy's greed and indiscretion in this case, which occurred when she was away on an overseas course. She was livid, and swore this was the last straw, since she was now fed up with Kennedy's spending habits. Upon return, she frantically searched for her cheque book and accidentally found the stubs of issued cheques her husband Kennedy had boldly forged her signatures on.
She specifically asked for this to be shared on the radio show last night, as she's considering divorce.
Her first mistake was enabling Ken to sign her cheques, fully aware of his weakness with money. But Ken on his part failed terribly by assuming he had the right to her funds by going to such extremes.
It is understood that Efe feels completely betrayed by Ken and it would be very difficult to regain her trust after this. Hell, he could have been jailed for this, but for the safety of marriage! She mentioned, in our conversation, that she had not spoken to Ken about her discovery yet, as she is trying to avoid a fight or any form of confrontation. Which is understood, as fights about money are the most precarious, because they are the common indicators of divorce.
I often counsel couples to have open, honest conversations about how the household is to be run.
In Efe and Ken's case, I would rather they establish a joint account for spending which will encourage a mutual agreement before any withdrawal is made. And a definite adjustment made on her mandate to stall further withdrawals, should Ken be tempted to be 'sharp' in the near future.
Ken should be made to pay back what he took from her, which is only fair, if he is to save his marriage.
Learn to understand your partner's faults and weaknesses before going into any serious relationship or marriage. So you are better equipped with ways to support each other's needs and live amicably together in marriage.
Have you been financially cheated by a partner? Would you like to share?
Trusting ur spouse with money is one of the major problems couples face in marriage.. I think when going into one, couples should have a discussion about it first.
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